The Top 5 Toys That WON’T Be In Our Stockings This Year

Have you heard about the problems with this new toy, Bunchems? Apparently they are little burr like balls that are meant to be a building toy, but little girls are putting them in their hair and it is becoming a matted, painful mess. I don’t have girls, but just looking at the photos people posted in their amazon reviews makes my blood run cold.

So, in honor of this hot new holiday toy being put on my “Do Not Buy” list, I thought I would compile a list of other toys that have caused a heap of trouble in our house. And yes, some have even ended up in hair. And the carpet. And the ceiling. You get the idea.

The Top 5 Toys That WON’T Be In Our Stockings This Year
1. Bunchems This one is obvious. Unless you want to spend Christmas day combing burrs Bunchems out of your screaming child’s hair, then I would say pass on this one. Of course, if you feel like you need practice for when lice invades your home, shop away!

2. Silly Putty Now don’t get me wrong, I love Silly Putty, I really do. And I am all for sensory toys and fine motor practice, but the last time we put this in our kids’ stockings, we ended up having to throw out 2 sweatshirts, a small rug and several fabric baby toys. And yes, I tried the ice cube trick and even put these items in the freezer for several days before I just gave up. No more silly putty in our stockings!

3. Sticky Hands This toy offers hours of fun. Or minutes depending on your child. It is a hand shaped toy that is made of a gummy like substance. The one that sat on our vaulted ceiling for A YEAR was yellow. I am sure they come in other shades of trouble as well. The basic fun of this toy is that the sticky part can be slapped onto different objects and grabbed and brought back to you. It’s also fun for kids to simply slap this toy onto the wall and whip it back. I can only assume that was what my kid was trying to do when it got stuck 18 feet up on the wall. Right on the edge of the popcorn ceiling. In the same way Bunchems seem to grab onto little girl’s hair, sticky hands seem to grab onto popcorn ceilings and dig in for life. We tried knocking it down several times throughout the YEAR (yes, I am lazy), but it wasn’t until we finally brought in a tall ladder and dug it off with our fingernails, that we could finally get it down. I would like to say I learned my lesson the first time, but no, we had Sticky Hands get stuck in numerous hard to reach places before I banned them from all future stockings, Easter baskets and prize bin choices.

4. Slinkys Slinkys are another toy that I absolutely love. For myself. I have so much fun playing with them in my hands, rocking them back and forth. Something about the motion and the noise is so soothing. But the moment I hand a slinky to one of my kids my kids look at the slinky? You know what happens. They get all twisted and tangled up. I used to try to fix them, but even if you get the twist out, all you are left with is a worthless bent spring. Oh and the 5 minutes it did hold its shape? There are no fun moments of watching the slinky “walk” down a flight of stairs like the commercial from our childhood promised. It barely goes down 2 stairs period! So, while I might be buying slinkys for my own stress management, they are definitely on my “Do Not Buy for Christmas List.

5. Finger Laser Lights For all I know this is just an urban legend, but for some reason every time I see anything with laser lights, I am convinced that they are like laser pointers where if you look directly at the red light, you will damage your eyes. Somehow I got it into my head that my kids will go blind by burning their retinas when they looked directly into the red light ray. True or not, I don’t want to sit there worrying that my kid is going to point his finger laser lights directly into his brother’s eyes and cause permanent blindness. And as a general rule, nothing goes in the stocking that will make me worry incessantly or that may cause someone to need eye patches in NEXT year’s stocking!

I know there are about a million other toys that won’t be in your kids’ stockings this year due to similar….mishaps. Can’t to hear about them (and learn from your kid’s mistakes!) Bonus points for anything stuck in your kids’ hair!