I am just going to put it out there. I KNOW we are supposed to get down on our hands and knees and play with our kids more, but I just don’t enjoy it. I feel like people might come after me with pitch forks for saying so (my mom, the preschool director and parent coach might lead the pack). But I admit it, I would so much rather being binge watching Parenthood on Netflix or perusing Pinterest on the computer than playing super heroes or crashing cars (3 boys over here!)
BUT because I love my kids and I truly do enjoy being with them, I have come up with some “play compromises”, if you will. Through 12 years of knowing that connecting and playing with my kids is a crucial part of building a positive relationship with my kids, I have found a few activities that I count as play AND I actually enjoy (I mean, not as much as a night with the Bravermans, but we all have to make sacrifices!) I really call them play compromises because they might not be my boys’ top play choice either (which we all know is video games!), but these activities are ways that we have found work for us when they want to play with me (and I know that won’t last forever so I need to take advantage of it while I can!)
Of course, with any relationship, you try to compromise to make both people happy, but there should also be times that you let the other person choose and he gets to have things “his way”. So yes, sometimes you will see me wearing a superman cape in the front yard because that’s what a Mama does for her kids. But to get my regular playtime in with my kids, you are more likely to find me doing one of these simple activities with my kids.
5 simple ways to play with your kids
1. Read a book
I am a book lover. Always have been. I remember long car rides as a kid where I would READ the whole way. In the car. Never puking. Now I have grown up and can’t ride roller coasters or read in the car without wanting to lose my lunch, but I haven’t lost my love of books. So, my first go-to with my boys is cuddling on the couch and reading to them. We have special shelf in the living room of keepsake picture books that we often still read together, but as my 12 year and 6 year old are growing up, there isn’t much I love more than cuddling up reading chapter books with them. In fact, I have such fond memories of a day where my 6 year was home sick and I ignored almost everything else (maybe even the 2 year old?! ) to finish up our latest Little House on the Prairie Book. Even the 12 year old and I will occasionally take turns reading his chapter books out loud to each other. Also, at his age, I find I enjoy the tween books enough that I just *might* read ahead when he has gone to bed for the night. So, I totally count reading a book to my boys as “playing” and it is always my first choice activity with them when someone wants to play. (Looking for good book recommendations? Check out the book lists on the site What do we do all day?)
2. Play a board game
On the days that the kids don’t count reading a book as “playing” with mom, I go to my next favorite activity, games! Card games are always my first choice (Uno, Old Maid, Go Fish and Spoons), but there are several board games that I actually enjoy playing with my boys. In fact, I am working a blog post about which board games don’t make me want to poke my eye out (like some popular ones that we all have suffered through. Not to name names, but how many times can you climb up on that chair to get the cookies out of the cookie jar before you realize its going to fall out from under you?!
I also enjoy playing games with my boys because I have learned how to adapt the rules to the 3 different ages of our kids. Yesterday we played Math War and my 12 year old had to complete the math problems, the 6 year old had to compare and say which number was bigger and the 2 year got to point and say the names of the numbers he knew. He also got to hold grabbed all the cards as well. We have learned to play many a card game with a few cards “missing” when we have a toddler around the house!
3. Do a puzzle
Doing a puzzle is a great way to play with my kids, especially when I don’t want to get out an entire board game or play a whole game of cards because we are short on time. In fact, if I realize I haven’t really spent much time connecting or playing with my 2 year old (poor 3rd child always gets ignored and shuffled around!), I will pull out one of his favorite wooden puzzles to do with him. Honestly, the teacher in me loves it because it’s educational and it keeps my attention enough to show him shapes, review animal sounds etc.
We have a variety of puzzles for a variety of ages in our house, but already the 6 year old gives me a run for my money when it comes to doing puzzles. And my husband and I have officially become old as we are now leaving a big puzzle out on the card table for anyone to work on when they are interested. It’s fun to find my boys leaning over the puzzles together instead of clamoring for screens! Check out a few of my favorites for the kids at the bottom of the post (affiliate links):
4. Coloring books
With the influx of complex coloring books lately and the studies that show coloring is actually soothing for stress and anxiety, I have been happy to color with my kids! We try to compromise on the picture and find something we both like so that I don’t have to color Sponge Bob Square Pants and they don’t have to color in fancy paisleys and peace signs. I put together a few coloring books at the bottom of the post that seem like they would interest both kids and moms. Coloring together has been a great play compromise for me and my boys.
5. Baking
Baking is one of my favorite activities and while it is harder to get my boys to feel like this is me “playing” with them, if we are making cookies or some kind of sweet treat, I can often convince them to join me. Some favorites in the kitchen are rice krispie treats, chocolate chip cookies and simple banana bread. The other reason that I love getting my boys in the kitchen with me? I feel like I am teaching them how to get around the kitchen and their future wives will thank me for it. ;)
As always, I don’t like to be too ambitious, so I am just sticking with my top 5 favorite ways to “play” with my kids. I would love to hear some ways that you get down on your hands and knees and play with your kids. While I think it looks different for everyone, I think it is important that moms come up with their own “play compromises”. I would love to hear yours as I am always looking for ways to connect and play with the kids that don’t make me want to poke my eyes out. ;)
My daughter is in a big time Barbie phase and wants me to play all the time. I loved them growing up, but I struggle playing with her. I love these suggestions! We played Uno today and had a great time.
I am so glad that I am not the only one! And yes, I love Uno – its a great “play compromise” for us too! =)
These are some of my favorite activities with my kids too! I also love going on bike rides and other outdoor adventures with them. Playing with Legos? I’m happier listening to them play with each other – which fortunately they do well – except when they don’t :)
Love the idea of the outside activities too- I think those aren’t often my go-to and I really want to add them to my list of easy ways to play. Thanks for the tip and for checking out my blog! =)
I’ve been hearing this more and more and I am SO GLAD. I love my daughter more than anything in the world, and I will do anything for her, but my gosh playing barbies can be so hard sometimes. I still feel so bad, but it’s nice to know I am not the only one!
Oh my gosh- I think if I had to play with barbies I might even be in worse trouble! I could see likely dressing her in the clothes, but after that I have no clue how to pretend those kind of things lol!
Thank you fo this great article! There are a lot of other activities to do with your kids, I’m sure you’ll find something you like. You can visit your local community center to go swimming (using both indoor and outdoor pools, plus water slides!). Find an ice skating or roller skating rink. Play mini golf. Challenge each other in laser tag. Take a family bike ride. Play Frisbee golf. Go canoeing or kayaking. Play basketball, baseball, volleyball, football, or soccer in your backyard or basement. Rent a kid’s exercise video from your local library. Wash the car together. Plant a garden together (which involves work to plant, water, and harvest, thus it involves long-term exercise!). Visit the playground (or maybe try a different playground every month). Have a dance party.
Those are great ideas- thanks for sharing! This post focused on simple ideas that don’t take a lot of effort or prep when at home, but I would definitely include those in a post when you are feeling more energetic! Unfortunately, I don’t have a lot of those moments because children. ;)
Hey there, I love all the points you made on that topic. There is definitely a great deal to know about this subject, and with that said, feel free to visit my blog YQ9 to learn more about Thai-Massage.